Those of you who are engineers / related to engineers, forgive me.
Just for laugh...
Engineers
Understanding Engineers #1.
Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one
said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer
replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business,
when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took
off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first engineer
nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice: The clothes probably wouldn't
have fit you anyway."
Understanding Engineers #2.
To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is
half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to
be.
Understanding Engineers #3.
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with
those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!" The doctor
chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!" The
priest said, "Here comes the greens-keeper. Let's have a word with him."
He said, "Hello, George. What's wrong with that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?" The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes.
That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our
clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free
anytime." The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's
so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The
doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist
colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them." The engineer
said, "Why can't they play at night?"
Understanding Engineers #4.
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.
Understanding Engineers #5.
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The
graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The
graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The
graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Understanding Engineers #6.
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers
believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
Understanding Engineers #7.
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him
and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He
bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke
up again and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn back into a beautiful
princess and stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog
out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog
then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll
stay with you for one week and do anything you want." Again, the
engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his
pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you
I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do
anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look,
I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking
frog - now that's cool!"
***********************************************************
Understanding Engineers #1.
Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one
said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer
replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business,
when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took
off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first engineer
nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice: The clothes probably wouldn't
have fit you anyway."
Understanding Engineers #2.
To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is
half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to
be.
Understanding Engineers #3.
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with
those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!" The doctor
chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!" The
priest said, "Here comes the greens-keeper. Let's have a word with him."
He said, "Hello, George. What's wrong with that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?" The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes.
That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our
clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free
anytime." The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's
so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The
doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist
colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them." The engineer
said, "Why can't they play at night?"
Understanding Engineers #4.
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.
Understanding Engineers #5.
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The
graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The
graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The
graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Understanding Engineers #6.
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers
believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
Understanding Engineers #7.
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him
and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He
bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke
up again and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn back into a beautiful
princess and stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog
out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog
then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll
stay with you for one week and do anything you want." Again, the
engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his
pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you
I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do
anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look,
I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking
frog - now that's cool!"
***********************************************************
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