| Dear all, Whilst I agree the situation prevalent in the US and even in many parts of Kerala, it is something we can do nothing about. In to-days terms, both husband and wife works in order to sustain the family including providing for parents who may be staying in the hometown. Nuclear family in the order of the day. Even if the parents are brought to their place of work, it will be congested especially in cities like Bombay, Dubai, Chennai etc. where many families are staying in a two room apartment - sometimes in a one room apartment. There is hardly any place to walk about because of the increasing traffic. When the son and daughter-in-law goes for work, the parents will have to while away their times by watching TVs or VCDs and perhaps assisting in the management of kitchen. Very few wives of people in the cities are housewives as the only male earner cannot sustain the family including the increased cost of education for the children. As for myself, I consider myself very lucky in that I am in Malaysia in a secluded area away from the city. There is a large Garden with a lake in the vicinity of my residence which I bought about 40 years ago. The price of my house would have multiplied at least 25 times in the meantime. It has 4 large bedrooms, a large lobby, large kitchen, Store room and a compound that can accommodate about 6 cars - one in the covered porch. I have a servant's room and I have an Indonesian maid who cooks all our national dishes very tastefully. I visit my own house in Kerala about once a year. My house in Kerala is very large; but there are only 4 people staying there. When I visit Kerala, all my siblings with their children and grandchildren come and stay in our house which has about 10 rooms, 7 bathrooms and modern Toilets - all of them attached to the bedrooms. My parents are no more and also my eldest sister aged 80 years passed away just about 1 year ago. My mother expired about 6 years ago at the age of 96. All the children (8 of us) went to Benares and Gaya to do her last rites on the 1st anniversary of her demise. I have four children all of them are working. Two of my daughters are teachers, whilst another one is working for a handphone company. My son is a Senior Engineer staying about 400 kilo meters from my residence. He with his family visits us once a month. He was educated in the U.K. I retired from the services of ICI Group where I was the Group Chief Accountant & Treasurer for the last 16 years prior to my early retirement because I underwent a cardiac bypass surgery in the States in 1985. I was 51 1/2 years old at the time of retirement and had served 34 years in the Group. My wife is a housewife and we live rather a luxurious life here with pleasant surroundings, relatives and friends. I spend my time doing humanitarian work and I am the current President of one of the Rotary Clubs here. I owe all these good things to the blessings of my late parents whom I have looked after very well when they were alive. Yours sincerely, -------Original Message-------
Dear All, I am a new joinee to this group, hardly 1 month. This subject line asked me to add some thing from my end. I don't know/don't what to know how many in this group are just married, not married, just had kids, above 50 or relaxing the retired life. But certainly would like to know how many of us are along with the parents or/are taking care of them when they need some one along with them. If you are with them would like to know the reason behind this action. E.g: account balance, PF, House, favour, or just doing the duty. According to me; the reason differentiate us from the western culture. If the reasons are like this i think better don't take care of them. I am among those guys who don't have a particular reason to do things. I am with my parents becoz i know when i will be at their age my kids will not have the time or mentality to even say a "Hi" to me. We need to accept the reality, the world is changing and a new generations comes with new set of genes. Don't wait for a reason, don't feel bad if somebody is not doing realise thatz the reality. Atleast today the NRI kids are doing the money transfer for their parents in old age home at Kerala. You may not even get that. Thnks From: G.G. KRISHNAN <krishnan.gg@gmail.com> Subject: Re: [www.keralites.net] amma To: Keralites@yahoogroups.com Date: Sunday, 24 October, 2010, 1:07 PM The mails on the subject shows the prevalent condition of society. It is sad that we (not only Keralites) have shed our age old values and system of joint family where each one cared for another, there was more tolerance, acceptance of the other members of the joint family, working for joint good of the family etc. With the advent of the so called "nucleus family", the society has lost compassion, tolerance and values of the old. While some would argue that the increasing number of old age homes or "retirement homes" as they are now called (in "advanced" countries) represent advancement of welfare state, it shows the falling standards and values of man and society, where the aged and infirm have no place in one's own home and are dependent on state or agencies outside one's home. We have fallen to such standards that we fight with our own kith and kin for money, land or any property. We have little regard or respect for our own siblings when it comes to money. The word "sacrifice" or "compassion" have lost their meaning when it comes to money and property. In such a situation, how can we expect today's and future generation to care for our own family members when they grow old or infirm. The remedy is in imbibing strong value system from a very young age at school levels, making increased field trips of school children to old age homes and infirmeries, sensitise the children towards the old, infirm and less fortunate so that we have a future breed of citizens who care for their family members irrespective of age or condition. The money intended to be spent on future old age homes should be spent today in building up a strong value system among children from a very young age so that we can bring about a societal change in the society at least in future. This would be a departure from the ways of the west, where immediate solutions are found for the present problems without trying to address their root cause. GG Krishnan 2010/10/23 SOSAMMA THOMAS <sosamma_thomas@yahoo.com> Hello friends, Now Kerala is becoming like USA. When parents are getting old their children don,t want them and they can,t look after them.. Now a days people wanted only parent's property and bank balance without any shame. Even educated and financially well settled people are doing this type attitude towards their parents. Serious action should take towards such people legally. Financial support should get for them from their children itself, if they are financially ok. Something should be done and such things should not happen in future. From: GOPESH VIJAYAN <gopesh777@gmail.com> To: Keralites@yahoogroups.com Sent: Fri, 22 October, 2010 9:02:16 PM Subject: Re: [www.keralites.net] amma Hello Friends, The article was one that shows the devaluation in the culture of the keralites. It has been a growing practice today in the society where old and aged population are send to Old Aged Homes, Institutions and even to Streets. We are forced to realize that it is just a very rare case that gathers the attention of media. We should not forget that a large Old Aged Population is treated the same way and another good population are still remaining in the home suffering everything. Kerala, being the most developed state in India, which has an international exposure on Education and Humanity is still lacking the pyschological and emotional growth. As a study reveals kerala is one amongst the most comfortable and convenient place in the world for human inhabitation since there are absolutely less Natural Calamities, Absence of Terrorism, comparatively good politics, low level of corruption, and high standard of living. It is no surprise where persons living in such a place have low level of tolerance, and are never experienced with the hardships of life like that in Orissa or Bihar. As a result the people wont tolerate the Old Aged population since it does not create any income and benefit to the family. (Economists call them as "Waste Population"). Can we expect a better tomorrow???????? Do anybody think the people are going to change the mentality???? Whether the situation is going to improve or getting worse????? If anybody think there will be a prosperous tomorrow for the Old Population, then we can carry with such mails, principles of humanity, extracts from the religious books etc. We can try to change the attitude of society. We can organise social meetings and carry with more awareness programmes. But if the situation is not going to improve?????? Be Practical, Why we cant go for certain legal protection to the Old Aged People??? 1) Make it legally mandatory to provide atleast 10% of the Income of the Children to their old aged parents. 2) Legally impose heavy fine and jail terms for not protecting parents. 3) Introduce pension Plans for Old Aged People. The Govt. should keep a part of income of people by mandatory and provide it as pension at the time of their old age. (The same process as persists as in Philippines) 4) Introduce more Old Aged Homes by the Governmental Agencies. 5) Create Funds for the welfare of the Old Aged Population and see that the funds are distributed appropriately. 6) Introduce Free Treatment for Aged People in Hospitals. It could be done through some Insurance Plans. To my opinion let us try to introduce some legal protection to the Aged Population rather than crying on what is happening today. Let us prove what we can do. It is not a charity. What we are doing today will be fruitful to us at our Old Stage. With Thanks & Regards, GOPESH P VIJAYAN AL SEEB TRADING LLC MUSAFFAH - IND. AREA #17, ABU DHABI - UAE Mob:+971-55-9028594 Office:+971-2-5556697 Fax:+971-2-5556832 gopesh777@gmail.com alseebal@emirates.net.ae www.alseeb.net ======================= 2010/10/21 geekay <engeekay2003@yahoo.co.in>
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