Wednesday, August 31, 2011

[www.keralites.net] Deft definitions....

 


INTERESTING DEFINITIONS  
School:
A place where Papa Pays and Son Plays.
 Life Insurance:
A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
 Nurse:
A person who wakes up to give you sleeping pills.
 Love Affairs:
Something like the game of Cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test match.
Tears:
The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
  Lecture:
An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
 Conference:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
 Compromise:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
  Dictionary:
A place where success comes before work.
 Conference Room:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
 Classic:
Books, which people praise, but do not read.
 Smile:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
 Office:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
 Etc.:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
 Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
 Experience:
The name men give to their mistakes.
 Atom Bomb:
An invention to end all inventions.
 Philosopher:
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
 Diplomat:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
 Opportunist:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
 Optimist:
A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
 Miser:
A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
 Father:
A banker provided by nature.
 Criminal:
A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.
 Boss:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
 Politician:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
 Doctor:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.



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