[www.keralites.net] HOW DETACHED SHOULD WE BE?

 

DEAR ALL,

A friend has recently told me to learn to be detached, adding that it is essential to be so when we interact with people. This has set me wondering how important it is to be detached and if it is either desirable or possible to be totally so. If being detached is necessary, would it not mean neither getting involved with people emotionally nor letting situations affect us psychologically? It seems that this would include not loving people as well as being non-judgmental about what is right and what is wrong. It is practically impossible to be such and would do us no good. People need to reach out to one another in joy and sorrow and each person definitely needs to have a set of values of what is acceptable by his conscience and what is not. Total detachment from others would cut a person off from the mainstream of life and is thus not desirable, unless the person concerned has chosen to be a hermit. On the other hand, too much of attachment has its own disadvantages. Often we see people becoming emotionally-dependent on those they are attached to. This leads to pain on separation or the loss of the loved person. Moreover, some people exploit those who are dependent on them, even if only emotionally. Had attachment not been there between people, none would suffer from heart-ache. If we get emotionally attached to negative situations we cannot change, we feel helpless, often falling into despair. So, what is humankind to do? Do we negate all the finer feelings, of love and trust, which make us different from other animals? Should we stay detached when we see a grievous wrong being done or a person in excruciating pain? Perhaps the best approach is to maintain a balance between being detached and getting involved. If we can help a person, by all means we ought to do so. That much involvement is desirable. Beyond that, it becomes risky; if we start expecting a return, we are often hurt. In cases where we cannot bring about changes, we should accept the fact that certain things in life are not within our control. To love our near and dear ones is positive emotional-attachment and is encouraged for happy, healthy relationships. However, detachment should come if and when such relationships change into something either unhealthy or unloving. Good friends and loyal family are reality, but perhaps rare. When genuinely needed, we should stay detached, for, as Shakespeare has said in As You Like It, (Act 2; scene 7): Most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly.

The right balance normally recommended is like water on a lotus leaf.There is attachmnet as well as detachment. When the love is unconditinonal and expectation is less , it is wonderful. Easy to say but difficult to follow.

courtesy:Ayesha parveen


--
Aano bhadrakrtavo yantuvishwatah.(-RIG VEDA)
"Let noble thoughtscome to mefrom all directions"

REGARDS
Miss.ShaijaVallikatriBhaskaran

---

www.keralites.net

__._,_.___

Reply to sender | Reply to group | Reply via web post | Start a New Topic

Messages in this topic (1)

Recent Activity:

• New Members 334

Visit Your Group

KERALITES - A moderated eGroup exclusively for Keralites...
To subscribe send a mail to Keralites-subscribe@yahoogroups.com.
Send your posts to Keralites@yahoogroups.com.
Send your suggestions to Keralites-owner@yahoogroups.com.

To unsubscribe send a mail to Keralites-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com.

Homepage: www.keralites.net

Switch to: Text-Only, Daily Digest • Unsubscribe • Terms of Use

.

__,_._,___