Tuesday, October 19, 2010

[www.keralites.net] UNMELTED POT OF INDIA



UNMELTED POT OF INDIA



[1] TAMILS

Tamils are always proud to be Tamizhs ; Pretty courteous (that is what 
they think, at least!). 
They speak yenglish but sorry, no indi (Hindi).

[2] MADRASI 

The more common Madarasi (chennaisi,now) is an ardent fan of kireeket 
matches wharever he may be. 

Their counterparts in Mumbay think they live in America, but speak 
Hinglish like, 'are you sure ki Sujata aa 
rahi hai ya I'll go akela!' 
And they take great pride in making stupid mistakes in Hindi Grammar. The 
BEST hypocrites
in the world. Kyaa...?! 


[3] KERALA

Thamizhs, are verry lecky to have 'simble' neighbours like the keralites 
who are a komblex race of peoblle 
(they migrated around 2000 B.C. from the middle east, I guess; and now 
even the Sheikhs feel wary of them), 
but they have excellent GK , eat a lot of chooclyte and own 99.998765% of 
tyre shops in the world and form 99% of nursing community. 

[4] TELUGU DESAM

Not far behind the kerals is the telugu desam, who are totally againeshtu 
flaunting their wealthu to the worldu, though they occasionally come out 
withu brick red shirtsu and parrot green pantsu with pleetsu. Worstu, no?! 
But they (think) are greatu in CICSu,Microsu and COBOLu! Generally sane 
peoplesu (and so you can always find them judgingu, probhingu, queschioningu 
othersu ...) 

[5] KARNATAKA

The Canadians, excuse me, the Kannadigas aor (are) the coolest in the 
south but if there is political unrest in Hersogovnia oare (or) an ebolavirus 
outbreak in Zaire, they bash up the Tamils in Karnataka. Cauvery very bad! 
When it comes to Rajkumar (actor), if a fly sits on his nose,they'll burn 
the entire city of Bengaluru to kill the fly! To hell with Silicon valley! 
I-ron firshtu, girlu, Lasht Bussu, roadu, crickeatu, filamu are some of their 
favourites. 

[6] MAHARSHTRIANS

Maharashtrians are a conservative, confused, complex lot-kar. -Kar, that 
is because gavaskar, tendulkar, bahulkar.. confused?? that is because 
sitting in southern part of India they would ask the other person
'are you from Maharashtra or from South India..?' and genuinely wonder why 
the other person takes some
time to answer the question. They like the principles of pheejix and their 
favourite character in the alphabet is Zay (god knows where that came 
from). Although soft, peace loving people. 

[7] GUJARATIS 

And right there next to the Maharashtrians are the Gujjubhais. They like 
to keep kesh in the benk and their favourite pastime is eating snakes(like 
paav bhaji, masala papad and pijja) at the local snake bar. They gobble down 
alak sev like their life depends on it and believe in the brotherhood of 
man and sisterhood of woman(everybody is a bhai or a ben). 

[8] UDISSA (ORISA)

If you go further eesht, you land of Udissa- the land of irrron (r is 
stressed) where Sombalpuroa and Bhubaneshbara are big towns. The people are 
bery cordial and if you are Vikram they bill soorly ask you B or Bhe. They do 
not sout, sam or soot but occasnally bawsh their phace at the wasbashin. 
James Bond Mohanty in our colleze roll nomber jero, jero, sebhen. AAnd his
brother was Asees (Ashish). 

[9] BENGALEES

Bengalees are bery bery similor, but or(are) bery proud oph Subas Chondro 
Boash and Shoatyojit Roy (I used to know a director by name Satyajit Ray 
who was also pretty good) and everybody is Xda. I used to have a friend by 
name Dada. Wonder... never mind. Bot I most conphess, Roshgollas are bery
goooood, tho! 

[10] BIHARIS

Bihari kids are supposed to be the smartest kids in India (if not in the 
universe!). How we wish they grow up the same way,...but... And Biharees are 
bery phond of Laloo, Rabdi, Ranchi, Chaara. ka isse bhadiya tumre pass 
kooch hai, kaa?! spit spit... spit paan.. 

[11] UTTAR PRADESHIS AND MADHYA PRADESHIS

UPites and MPites are busy going to ischool with their Ishstainless 
ishsteel tiffin boxes and
istudying metals to make lots of ishteel. 

[12] PUNJABIS
Punjabis are very sweet and aggressive and offer Rotti Whotti Khayega, to 
which I once replied No. 
He said Tage itu, yaar! By Godu! Surjeetu,what happenedu, oi?!. 
Then of course,everybodys a paappe or a kaakke.Thats P'njab for you. 

[13] KASHMIR

And Kashmir (called Cashmir by many, may be because of the amount of cash 
spent to keep it in India)?!? 
I know Roja (or Roza?)was shot (I mean filmed) somewhere nearby... 

[14] INTERNATIONAL INDIANS

But at the end of the day, wherever you are in the world, whether it is in 
Sunnyvale, CA; Birmingham, UK; Ummar Quwain, UAE or Serangoon Road, 
Singapore, ask them who they are and you'll get just one answer - 'INDIAN'. 
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--from a NET source

Nandakumar


www.keralites.net   


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